I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
