His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
