I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
