he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.