We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.