No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
