1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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