Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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