I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
