just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
