I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
