i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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