At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
