like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I love you.
Bad choice
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