And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
