Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
