no. you can't hotbox the world.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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