oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Randomize
