I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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