peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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