Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
