I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
