Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
not ubering you a puppy
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
