69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
