talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
honey bunches of taint.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
