I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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