I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
