I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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