I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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