We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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