just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
