I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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