That's intense
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
