I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
