Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
