after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Randomize
