He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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