its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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