Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
