He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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