i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
