I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
