i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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