what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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