I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
