i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
