so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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