Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Come on in and take your pants off
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