these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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