i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
