The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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