Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't deserve a penis
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize