im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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