found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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