apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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