OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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