so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
