If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize