I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
