Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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